Girl Talk: Mother-Daughter Conversations on Biblical Womanhood

Title: Girl Talk: Mother-Daughter Conversations on Biblical Womanhood
Author: Carolyn Mahaney & Nicole Mahaney Whitacre
Publisher: Crossway Books, 2005
Number of pages: 222
Purchased: December 2009, CPBC Bookstore, $10
Begun: January 14, 2009
Finished: February 11, 2009
Rating: ****

Girl Talk is a book written by a mother/daughter duo and intended for mothers and daughters to read together. Though particularly geared towards teenage daughters and their mothers, the book definitely has application to mothers and daughters of any age, and I believe it could also be of special help to any “older” lady (following the model of Titus 2:3-5) seeking to minister to younger women. The book could also be used in a small group setting. Discussion questions and some suggested activities for each chapter are listed in an appendix at the back.

The main thrust of the book is encaptured in a coined phrase that the authors use repeatedly to communicate what they believe is the main Scriptural duty of a mother: passing on the language of biblical womanhood. The content is divided into two main categories. Part one of the book, “The Forging of the Mother-Daughter Bond”, emphasizes the broader underlying principles and philosophy of parenting. Naturally this section is geared toward the mother, though it does admonish the daughter regarding what her Biblical response ought to be to her mother’s authority and instruction. Frankly, this section is applicable to any parent, and was probably the most profitable part of the book for both me and Tim. (I read several of these chapters aloud to Tim as we traveled.)

In one of her early chapters, Carolyn Mahaney argues it is more critical for a mom to be home for her child’s teenage years than even when she is young. She quotes a secular writer from the Harvard School of Public Health as saying, “We’ve tended to think that it’s okay for parents to step back a little and let other adults play more of a role. The research doesn’t support that. … Savvy parents realize teenagers require as much attention as toddlers.”

I especially appreciated the chapter on mother-daughter communication. I was inspired to work at laying the groundwork even now with Miriam (and certainly with Micaiah, as well). Once again, an appendix in the back offered some interesting and fun suggestions for ways to implement family time and encourage mother/daughter communication. This chapter also encouraged me to try to imagine how I might be being perceived by my children, whether as primarily offering correction or as building relationship blocks on many levels even in the midst of necessary correction. I was also greatly rebuked by the chapter on conflict, which focused on the mother’s need to demonstrate humility in her parent-child relationships and to be the first to set the example of repentance. Chapters on a mother’s faith, example and love reinforced these concepts.

The second part of the book, “Biblical Womanhood in the Real World”, focused more on the outworkings of the teaching a mother should be giving her daughter, considering the fact that “the seeds of woman’s life-long excellences must be sown in the springtime of existence” (quoting John Angell James, 103). The topics covered included peer pressure, the pervasive influence of feminism, true beauty of the heart, modesty, the courtship days and even embarking upon marriage (touching on the duties of a daughter and mother).

One of the themes I found to be most helpful in this section was the emphasis on being very deliberate about giving one’s daughter an appreciation for the art of homemaking. She says that, in the spirit of Deuteronomy 6:6-7, “We should speak often to them about the joys of being a wife, mother, and homemaker. Because when you hang around someone who is enthusiastic about her career, it rubs off on you.” I also appreciated the fact that Mahaney freely acknowledges that while God hasn’t called all women to be a wife and mother, He does desire for them to “fully express [their] helper design, no matter what [their] age or marital status is.” She points out that while God’s role for a woman may play out somewhat differently in a single person, He does expect every woman to be nurturing and responsive and supportive and even to serve as the “older woman” of Titus 2:3-5 with the younger women He brings into her path.

With that fact in mind, I feel confident in recommending this book to a woman of any age or life situation. (In fact, I already have recommended it to several ladies.) I plan to put it away for a while, and hopefully will pull it out again as a resource with my teenage daughter in several years.

posted by Ruth